A balance of Mind-Body-Spirit

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Slacker attempts new approach after Prednisone

Okay, so I know I had some nice and meaningful posts back in the beginning of the year. And things were going ok until my eczema came back with a vengence. Normally it's just on my fingers,but it was on the heels and balls of my feet and it was horrible. After trying every home remedy I went to the dermatologist and was put on prednisone...2 courses. I gained 8 lbs in a month!!! What's weird too is that I noticed only in retrospect what a pig I had been about eating. Truly inhaling anything. I forgot the effects that steroids have on the appetite. The last time I was on steroid therapy for my eczema (which 15 years ago was so bad I looked like a leper...all over my hands, fingers, arms to my elbows...horrible) I was really, really skinny so what ever pounds it put on me then, I probably needed.

So, I thought to myself that I needed to get back to eating mindfully. No more stuffing whatever in my mouth. I have to take little bites and really savor stuff. Also, I knew, being an unschooler to the core who balks at being told "I have to do" anything, that starting some 'diet regime' would only blow up in my face. I don't like it when someone says I can't have this, or my bloodtype is wrong for that, or carbs are bad, fat is bad, protein is bad, sugar is bad, dairy is bad. Geesh, I've got one life to live and I would like a little enjoyment!

I am really being aware of what I am eating, how it tastes and smells, and making sure I am eating lots of fruits and veggies (because stress/emotional/bored eating tends toward the sugary, baked carby stuff). And when I do I have cookie or two, I eat them really, really slowly as if I am a toddler. Ever notice how it takes a toddler 15 minutes to eat one Chips' Ahoy?

Nothing is off limits, but I actually take the time to pause and think about what I am going to eat. Already I feel tremendously less bloated and in the last 10 days have lost 4 of the 8 pounds I put on. The thing is I really wanted to lose about 15 lbs prior to this steroid night mare, so I have jacked myself up to needing to lose 23 (or rather 19)lbs now.

Autumn and I walked to the park today to go to her pottery class. Unlike some of you on this list (Leonie, Cindy etc...) I really don't like working out. I still have really great muscle tone, just a jiggly tummy. I'm still a size 12/14 (US) and really would love to be an 8/10. I want to incorporate the exercise in to my life. I am not a gym-going-gal. I tried Curves and ended up losing hundreds of bucks coz it is just not me. I like swimming, but the pools aren't open yet. I like an occasional walk too. Now that the weather is nice, assuming I can keep my allergies under control, playing tennis with Autumn and Ben would probably be good. Plus, I really hate being hot and sweaty. I think it's a mental thing having lived in Florida, which I really didn't like at all, for almost 20 years. I am the kind of person who should live in the north and do winter sports.

I love the book Secrets of a Former Fat Girl. It's a great read. I also love the Fat Girls Guide to Life. Even though people might still not consider me a fat girl, I can relate to stuff they say. I was really quite thin up until the death of my mom. Nothing will put 20lbs on someone like depression/grief eating. I just know that if I don't 'pay attention' (because that really is what it is about for me) I will only get heavier and little bit at a time, year by year until I really am at a place that would be overwhelmingly upsetting to me.  Plus, I am going to be 42 in 5 days.  I am not getting any younger and time is not going to stand still either. So, I better get going!

So, just like I am into Mindful Learning, I am now practicing Mindful Eating. We will see how it goes.

Peace Out!


Cindy said...

Hi there Rachel!

What a great post. I nodded and nodded about so much of it... (until I got to the part about not liking workouts and thought to myself.. she just hasn't found the RIGHT kind yet! I love getting sweaty in a good hard workout and the feeling of the shower and clean clothes after! YEEHAW

(But I still hate getting sweaty walking from the grocery store to the car....)

YES. It is about mindfulness. Eat anything, but enjoy, savor, all you said.

I love this quote and I have it on the private blog where I post and encoureage myself (yes, I am weird, but it got the first 15 pounds off me.)

The quote is:

Enough is as good as a feast.

And I think it is from a saint.

I am so sorry about your ezcema. I am still living with mine. I just got home from a meeting and was scratching the heels of my hands the entire time. Must look attractive out in public for me to be scratching like a dog with a parcel of fleas...

Yours is much worse than mine has ever been and I feel for you and will pray for your healing. I really go crazy with mine and it is not even close to what you are dealing with.

My mil took prednisone for a while and it really can wreak havoc. She gained weight and was not herself. But once she went off, she was back to herself and you will be too.

On the eczema, I did a little research and think mine is due purely to alleriges and stress. I am getting better about the stress. (letting go) Allergies.. I know it is food. I eat wheat (bread, etc) and I can feel it. Sometimes it kicks in the ezcema. Why do I eat bread?? Well, we get a bunch of Panera Bread once a month when we make sandwiches for hte mission.. and that cheese bread just smells soooo gooood.. and whap!

I call it my 'bread hangover' that i have the next day.

I can't do that whole diet thing figuring out exactly what I am allergice to.. so I just pay attention.
I know the trigger foods. And try to find things I love andcan enjoy (like coffee, chicken, salad, etc)

And like you the minute I am on a DIET I rebel. Except, I have to say, when I started getting serious about taking off these 30 pounds last summer.

My friend in VA had decided the same thing and put $$$$ down for a personal trainer who gave her a diet to eat every day.


I scoffed. But you know, I did it. Mostly. And it was healthy and great. I learned portion control and to enjoy an dlok forward to my meals (I was a chronic snacker... becuase I was frustratred, bored, upset)

It taught me a lot. About being thankful for hte food. And not being a pig. lol

My ultimate goal is to eat with no diet and if I start to gain, realize it and adjust.

I think I had a major victory the last two weeks.

I did the 'diet' for about 3 months. Then maint, then diet again. back and forth.

I lost about 20 pounds.. then slipped and was up 5.

So I tried to go strict diet again and could not. So I said..I am going to do what you are saying.. be mindful. And I have lost 5 pounds.

I am so excited! Am I really learning my body, myself and not to eat for emotion but still enjoy food?

As you can tell, your post spoke to me.... and I still think there is an inner athelete in you dying to find its sport and SWEAT! :)


Leonie said...

I'm glad you like the Former fat Girl book - I'll have to check out the other one you menioned.

I agree with you -it is not about diets, for me its about my head, thr mental stuff. The food plan is just a guide.

I didn't always love working out, I think I just had to find my groove, what I like best.

You've done so well - congrats!

Willa said...

Mindful Eating! I like that, and it's my goal too.

Willa said...

Oh, I meant to say -- I suffer from eczema too. It is ongoing and affects my whole body, particularly my face and neck. It makes exercising a challenge because even sweat or sun can trigger an episode and then it's very hard to get back into a good management mode.

I try to limit simple carbs, particularly wheat. And keep hydrated. And keep stress down. And stay regular, but not too vigorous, with the exercise.

A balance of Mind-Body-Spirit

Thought for the Day

"Good friends are good for your health."

~Irwin Sarason

"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy! And happy people just don't shoot their husbands!"

Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde