I started!

I waited till hubby had left for work, the kids were settled with their breakfast/showers/activities, our sick Labrador Jack was medicated, and then I clipped on my mp3 player and left.
We're a street from the beach and it was for there I set my course - do you KNOW how much it hurts to walk fast in soft sand??? No? Well it DOES. My calves were burning, but it felt good because I knew I was working them. By the time I arrived at the Old Jetty I was ready to leave the beach and walk back home via the runner's track.
All the time I was moving my legs I was listening to some pretty inspirational messages from Annette Sym (the Too Good To Be True lady) on my mp3 - just the sort of thing to bolster the old self-esteem as you pound the pavement in ancient runners and raggedy jeans. ;-) For the first time I wasn't self-conscious about what I was wearing, in the past that was one of the things that held me back from walking the beat. Instead I held my shoulders back and swung my arms high and thought about how much better I am going to feel a month, two months, 6 months from now!
When I got home I spent 20 minutes working on my abs and stretching before deciding the best way to keep active and not be food focused was to change a couple of rooms around and do some deep cleaning. Smart move! My food diary shows me eating much less today than the last week, even though I've been really good the last 10 days.
I noticed in my food diary that my downfall is the little between meals snacks...I'm going to focus on three good main meals so that I'm not looking to nibble between meals, and see how that works with my level of fullness. Plus I'll drink more water as I've been pretty slack with that.
I'm so tired tonight...a good sleep to be had methinks.

Sunday's Log

Food ~ Had a few upsets around here but remembered I don't do that any more and refused to eat to cover up emotions. I wanted to either eat or make myself throw up ( two food related coping mechanisms from my past). Instead, I worked out, I did other things, I gave myself permission to have an afternoon off, I texted!

Food log ~ a banana, a slice soy linseed bread with low fat cheese, tea with skim milk, 2 mini Lindt chocs leftover from birthday, toasted sandwich with baked beans and capsicum and no butter, 2 tablespoons margarita ice cream from birthday, an apple, tea, an orange, a handful of potato crisps, low fat tuna vege curry with rice and salad, a mini party pie, tea with skim milk.

Exercise log ~ 60 minutes FIRM Total Sculpt plus Abs. Cardio, step, and weights. Felt it in my arms afterwards and in my legs today, Monday.

Finally...

...I worked out what the heck was going on with my brain/body dialogue.

I'm the sort of person who wants you to tell her the worst now, to correct her NOW, and not to sweeten the news or dilly-dally 'round it. I'd rather one huge stomach punch of shock than little irritating pinches over a long period of time.

So, knowing that about myself, I figured this book was what I needed to kick my butt and get me back on track with slimming down to a healthy me - a me who can live long enough to be an awesome nana to the grandkids I have and all the ones yet to come - not to mention a me who can enjoy the rest of my babies teen years and my hubby's mid-life. (Hubby is only 43 this year but I've just hit 50)

I was so excited waiting for this book to arrive from the UK. I just KNEW it was the missing link in getting my brain and my body to work together for good, and not be hell bent on sabotaging my midriff and hips in their incessant discourse of gluttony.

Oh how sad it was when I finished the first two chapters and hated myself. Wow - this book really packs a punch! A nasty, rude, deprecating, demoralising flood of words that left me feeling worse about myself than ever before. This was in-your-face on a new level, one I soon realised I didn't want to play on. By the time I'd picked myself off the floor and disposed of the pile of tissues I'd wept into over the course of just 20 pages, I was so depressed I went off and ate a whole chocolate block in secret to comfort mysef. I haven't opened another page since. It could be much nicer further on, but I'm not going there to find out. Feel free if you must...

But the thing is, this book really HAS helped me. Over the following weeks since closing it's pages I have learnt a lot about myself, and the thing that lists highest is that in order to treat my body well I need to LOVE it. Bulges and all! I need to be NICE to it, be nice to me! I shouldn't be harsh or cruel with words against myself - cruelty harms, it crushes, it scars...those feelings would never help me to work at being a healthy weight. If I'm going to do good to this 50 year old body I need to do it with care, with love, and with encouragement.

For the last 10 days I've been taking time to dress more carefully, add some make-up each morning, blow-dry and style my hair - and eat well, knowing that what food goes in is going to show for good or bad depending on my choices. I'm a kilo down already, and my eyes are shining. That may not sound like much to you but it's thrilling to me. I am walking with my shoulders back, not hunched (amazing what that does for a body!!), and today I wore peep-toed black heels to Mass. I bought them 18 months ago and have never worn them - till today. My attitude is to like my body NOW, and to like it better as it changes - to work with it and not against it, to remember that I'm not competing with anyone, and I'm not 24 anymore. ;-)

Now to get moving...that's the next step. I have started once and stopped already this year, but that was before my 'aha' moment.

Thanks for letting me get this out. :-)

Jenny

Log updates

I've been much better wrt eating and food choices. Thinking before I eat. Reminding myself of a couple of mantras ~

1. WIWM ( what I want most - health, looking better in clothes , rather than a second helping..)

2. I don't do that any more ( not stuffing myself with food when I was upset!)

3. If they can, I can ( reading a book about Skinny Chicks and reminding myself of good choices)

Been very busy so some days have only worked out 30 minutes or 45 minutes but I have continued to work out every day. Mostly a mix of cardio with a little bit of resistance work - Taebo, Turbo Jam, Jane Fonda....

These two pics remind me of some of my progress these last four years...

Tuesday

St Patrick's Day. Not great food choices. Want to read a bit more about nutrition and motivation and mindfulness.
My workout, however, was good. 60 minutes of the 90 minute Taebo Ultimate. Kickboxing cardio, standing resistance work.

Monday's Log

Sunday was a super cardio day - 70 minutes of hilo aerobics, some on the step. Christi Taylor's choreography keeps you thinking and guessing and the music is fun, too.

Workout Monday - 60 minutes Advanced Live Taebo 6, all cardio and standing ab work and some martial arts/self defence moves at the end. With the usual good soundtrack and large class, energetic, filmed live.

Food Monday - Body For Life oatmeal with skim milk and tea; half piece birthday cake; bowl pea and ham soup, coffee with skim milk; grapes and coffee; leftover Chinese noodles small serve; water and popcorn at the movies;lowfat hot chocolate while blogging before bed. Not too bad today!

Saturday's Log

Food ~ Too much! I took dh out for lunch and we had a visitor for dinner - mm, want to work on portions. Body For Life Chocolate Peanut Butter Oatmeal with skim milk and tea; nectarine; spinach and potato curry with basmati rice; 1 churro to try from dh's plate - no sugar or sauce!; skim milk flat white; water and water all day; tea with skim milk; a gin and toinc, glass of red wine, a plate of takeaway Chinese food ( but no spring rolls and steamed rice instead of fried! And lots of veges..), a small square hazelnut chocolate and two cups tea with skim milk.

Workout ~ 60 minute Taebo Advanced Live 2 - lots of cardio kickboxing and some great push ups, butt work, ab work at the end. Cool music. A half hour walk home from church . Good cardio day!

Blogging and Logging

Over at the Video Fitness forum, there has been some discussion on logging workouts and food. Some members find it helpful to keep track of these things.One member posted a copy of her journal - delightfully messy, artistic, a fluid log of workouts and food to help her live mindfully in these areas.

So, I am wanting to log here - loosely - in an effort to be mindful in my workouts and in my healthy eating.

Today

Food ~ So Far -Toasted cheese sandwich and coffee with skim milk in the car for breakfast from the service station after Mass and on the way to skating - threw out the ham as I am trying not to eat meat on Fridays; 2 mini bites Cherry Ripes and another coffee; Fillet O'Fish with no tartare sauce and a garden salad no dressing and a skim milk Chai Latte and a mini peppermint slice at McDonalds for lunch; a nectarine and a tablespoon of fat free sugar free yogurt; cup of tea; lots of water. ETA ~ 4 low fat crackers; tuna pasta dish with cream and mushrooms and a rocket salad no dressing; pinched two small squid rings from son Anthony; two cups of tea with skim milk; two squares of chocolate from son Alexander. Hmm, too much chocolate and not enough mindful eating today!

Workout ~ 40 minutes - THE FIRM Punch Kick and Jab - kickboxing circuits with weights segments, using 3kg weights. Good abs section, too. Tick for my workout!

It is March!

Thoughts on a March Challenge?

A weekly check in?

I did okay with my strength challenge the first two weeks in February then became unwell - upset stomach, headaches, sore neck..So these last two weeks I've dropped the weights and just done cardio. I felt the weights wouldn't help my neck pain...

So, here I am, thinking about a March fitness challenge.

Maybe consistency. Consistency in continuing my daily workouts. Consistency in eating healthy most of the time.