A balance of Mind-Body-Spirit

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Now...I'm angry...this is war against fat!

Somehow...someway....I have avoided looking at my PROBLEM realistically....
Sure...I knew I had gained weight...but...today the full impact of realizing that I am obese has just hit me.....I'm so mad...mad at myself....mad at the fat!

We took some photos yesterday and while downloading them today....AHHHHHHH! I look sooo bad... I'm not kidding...this is not self-pity...It's just being real...as a matter of fact, before today, I would have deleted all the photos (I did one or two because I just couldn't handle it..) but I have purposely put them on my Facebook because I want to SEE change...I want to see what everyone else is obviously seeing and I've been 'editing' out of my life....

No more excuses....I need excercise
I need to change my eating habits
I need to change my sedentary lifestyle

I really do need this!

No more excuses....No more excuses...No more excuses.... My habits have to change!!! Now!!!


Cindy said...

Hey Julie!

I am right there with you and will become your official cheerleader all the way!

I know JUST how you feel. I had a similar tipping point last summer. It was a photo that did it.

I had slowly put on weight over the years, but because my body type is not an apple, or pear, I just didn't see myself getting too fat. I realized I am more of a 'watermelon' type-- gained all over and when I went to a girlfriend reunion I saw the pictures of me.

I was standing different, walking different- clumsy and heavy. It didn't feel like 'me' anymore.

Also, I think we try not to focus on vanity and because the media is so obsessed with 'skinny' we )or at least I do this) will ignore real signs because I am trying to not fall into the culture of the media.

But, we all have those tipping points and it sounds like you have reached one. But this can be good!

This can be the motivation for you to really do something now. Change some simple life habits adn they will make a tremendous difference.

Here is one I adopted and now that the weight is coming back.... I have focused on it again.

When I was feeling heavy, or had eaten badly and was bloated, or my clothes would feel tight, I uset tu shut down. Become more lethargic and maybe even have a snack on the couch to forget the feeling.

Now, when I feel like that, I hug my body, own it as God's gift to me to carry around my soul.. lol.. and MOVE! The worse I feel, the more I move.. even just cleaning house or raking some leaves. I know I used to try and hide, now I take my body right along with me!

Does that make sense?

I can't wait to hear what kind of goals you decide on, or small (or not so small) changes you decide to make.

Have you looked at sparkpeople.com? It has some great articles and I like their emails... they keep me focused.


Julie said...

Cindy....you make complete sense!
I can totally relate to some sort of detachment that has happened with my body (how that happened beats me..)and I love what you are saying about starting to love it (minus vanity...that's always been something I've HATED)and understand that it is "the temple of God" ...Funny...God has been whispering this to me over the last year now...

I've done some soul-searching from yesterday....The strange thing is that I've taken the whole revelation with a different spirit...its an UGLY truth but I don't feel the 'hiding sensation', that I too have felt over many a year...I can't explain it..but..I feel I want to do something about it and thank God,I feel a new..I can feeling...it WILL not get the better of me....I'm surprised by this new attitude!

I've always rebelled against the 'popular superficious body images' too and somewhere along the line, I guess I lost the plot...my other fear was always the opposite...having seen friends loose heaps of weight and letting it get to their heads...a friend of mine that was very close to me lost 40kgs and then started hitting on my husband!!!!!!

I need balance! I need to let go of fears!I sooooo have to trust in God....I want to do this right on a physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual level!

Thank you for sharing with me and the support...

God bless you...your support means a lot....I'm praying for all of us to overcome these 'demons'...they really don't have any place in us!!!!

Leonie said...

Julie, you don't look bad! I kn ow you in person - really!

That said, ikhyf. I look at my pics and cringe and still feel fat. I think its something I have to work on, for life. Acceptance. health, fitness.

I want to look nice, yes, but it is more about the spirit. God looks at our heart and I certainly don't want to hit on men or have men hitting on me ( like that discussion on Friday! wtf?? lol! ).

As Billy Blanks said in my workout today, he thanks God for the oportunity to work out. And it is more than the workout, when we challenge ourselves and go through the fire, we learn something about ourselves.

Look, I started at 112kg plus, lost my weight down to 75kg, not model thin or super duper attractive but a healthy BMI. And thats what its all about, right? We're with you, girl! HUGS.

Julie said...

Thank you!
Good counsel is so good!

A balance of Mind-Body-Spirit

Thought for the Day

"Good friends are good for your health."

~Irwin Sarason

"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy! And happy people just don't shoot their husbands!"

Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde